Stupid. Completely lethargic. Fucking stupid. I'm stupid, this is stupid. Asinine, bovine, and foolish. No matter how many beautiful sounding words you stick in it's place, it will always remain the same. Stupid. Plain witless. Fruck.
So yeah, I'm feeling like a torpid piece of shit right now, as to the fact that I just saw an ex at the commons. Don't get the story wrong, it's not like those idiotic stories where boy breaks girl's heart and now she hates seeing him because of her own insecurities. No, absolutely not. And, it's not like he was some big asshole of all time, you know, always making me feel like shit or something, and now seeing him is hell on earth. That's way off. You couldn't have the story any more wrong.
You see, being unique, I have to have the most trifling tale of all time, the type that when you read about it in a book or something, you always end up hating the main character, which in this case would be me; and you spend the whole fucking time you're reading the book just bitching about her in your head. Like, a commentary on this main character's choices would go like this:
"Ugh, what the hell, this girl is a total screwup. I mean, she has this guy that's amazing, and she's finally got hold of him, then lets it all go all because of some summer night in july. Jeezus, why do I READ books like these anyway? It's all so overrated and cliched, that bitch got what she deserves."
Seriously. You would say that. Trust me, even if you don't spend hours doing book commentaries in your head, I'm absolutely sure that's the main reaction collected from fans.
Anyway, I mess up in love. A lot. So after I had gotten together with a guy that I had desired for some time, It was like god had finally paid me for all of the wonderful deeds I'd done. Or had thought about doing in the time spaced between now, and whenever I die. So this guy is unbelievably cool. The type of person where you'll say "Damn, they're awesome, that'd never happen." Plus, he's frucking sweet. Just really great, not so stupid like other bfs, and idk, good to me? I actually have no idea how to say that without sounding fake, but yeah. Eventually, I went and questioned a bunch of things, feeling that it was probably a little shallower than I'd like it to be. Adding up with all of this other summer stuff, I broke up with him. During the pursuit of all this, I only had the same feelings he probably suffered thrown back my way, being a kick in the arse.
Here's another thing: school's starting soon, and I'm trying to come up with how to act and say where this bridge has not been burned and he's on my mind. Can duck tape fix a broken heart?
Utterly devine
I’ve found that life
Without a heart
Is a life truly refined.
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